Palatinate takes a snapshot of Durham

This year's Palatinate survey tells us a lot which we thought we knew already (Maths students aren’t getting a lot of sex), and reveals a little which we really didn’t suspect (Physics students are).

After eight weeks of anonymous online surveying the results lay bare a Durham which we’ll all recognise for the most part, a Durham where 42% of us have missed lectures and tutorials because of a particularly difficult hangover, and where less than 1% use class-A drugs. A drunk, largely atheist, reasonably well-sexed, and thoroughly content picture emerges.

So content in fact that 91% would choose Durham again if they could re-do their UCAS forms, and an overwhelming 96% believe the collegiate system provides a good experience. There is a little less satisfaction when it comes to individual colleges, however, with 24% saying they would change colleges given the chance again. Longstanding college reputations are certainly confirmed; 63% of pious John’s students call themselves religious next to the 33% average, and only 10% of the consistently brainy/dull Trevs admit to trying drugs.

45% of us are coupled up, of whom 62% think they’ve found ‘the one.’ Monogamy doesn’t rule absolutely though with a quarter of us having had a onenight stand over the last year, a figure which grows to 43% if you’re at Castle and shrinks to 14% at John’s.

However, across the university 22% of students still have their virginity in one piece. Although the subject you read radically affects how likely you are to have an unpopped cherry with a chastity-belt pleasing 53% of Theology students and 36% of Maths students remaining virginal in comparison to only 5% of Government and International Affairs students.

Cuth’s students appear to drink the hardest with nearly three quarters, 68%, missing some form of academic commitment because of a hangover. Whereas only 9% of us smoke and only 19% have used some sort of illegal drug in the last year, our greatest addiction appears to be coffee on which a staggering £38,352.72 is spent every week, with Hilde-Bede leading the way with an average weekly spend of £3.58.

The DSU gets a broad thumbs-up too, despite only 20% feeling that they have defended our rights at a national level and only 9% using their welfare services, 88% still believe that we need a student union and 71% could name president Flo Herbert.

Financially we manage an average weekly spend of £69.77, although Chad’s students squeeze by with as little as £43 a week. 44% of students aren’t shy of giving the money away though and are actively involved with fundraising, although this falls to a very tight-fisted 15% at Castle.

And at the end of the day the best place to go is officially Studio which, with 31% of the vote, pips Klute by 2% to become Durham’s favourite club.The survey consists of over a thousand responses (14% of the student body) and anomalies have been accounted for.