Become a fan of FS magazine on Facebook and save my dignity!

It's a sad day when a grown man’s career is thrown into the hands of Facebook. But in the context of today’s hit-maxing, user-centric whirlwind of PR Hipness, this is exactly what happened.

I want to tell you the cautionary tale of Bill Bradley, the hapless Vanity Fair Assistant Editor and recent trainee.

It’s a story of impossibility we all feel affinities with. Bill was, as many fresh new employees are, assigned a “Challenge Task”. A Challenge Task is designed to challenge your self esteem, your tenacity and your survival skills. It’s that first massive task a boss throws at you in which you are, quite simply, doomed to fail.

It’s a tale anyone with experience in the world of work will be familiar with. You think you’re taking a bite out of the shiny red apple of your dream job but instead you find yourself being asked to climb Mount Etna on roller blades. Failure means demotion, a life by the photocopier or worse, an eternity of heckling from your mates.

I’m sure the job was not quite what he expected as Assistant Editor. In May 08, he was asked to sign up 10,000 fans for Vanity Fair on Facebook… By August.

So, Bill did as any new employee would when confronted with a Challenge Task. As he reported on Vanity Fair:

"I brightly answered “Yes, sir,” and then did nothing, hoping he would forget about it. Instead, he followed up with an email, which was copied to several of my coworkers. And still I did nothing. As of today, June 2, we have 781 fans—9,219 short of the goal. In short, I’m screwed."

Bill, I feel your pain. 10,000 members in three months. One hundred and eleven fans a day. Doom.

So, the first post on the Vanity Fair Facebook page began in a (rather desperately) optimistic tone:

“Join Facebook and Save My Job!”

Evidently it’s not just me that finds the task of running a successful online PR campaign a daunting one.

Bill thought he had the tactics down pat: Guerilla stalking, outdoor signup campaigns, befriending strangers and converting grandma and grandpa into born again dot-com Facebook gimps. After all, every friend knows at least ten people, so not long before world domination, right?.. Or at least domination amongst the over-70s blue rinse brigade.

But, by June 11th, post number two, Bill appeared to have hit a new low:

“When Strangers Want Flesh!”

The headline was catchy, I liked it.

The stranger in question had written this helpful suggestion to poor Bill: “10k with no incentives!... Better start taking pics with your shirt off then my friend… Every 1K people who sign on guarantees that you take an article of clothing off.”

Oh no, I didn’t like it any more.

I feel his pain to a whole new level. As I stare at the blank campus that is the viral marketing strategy I start to panic. Is it possible to run a successful viral marketing campaign without resorting to large scale public humiliation? Is it actually possible to get your product known within the realms of best practice Facebook stalking? Who knows, but whatever it takes, it’s time to get this viral marketing campaign off the ground.

So, this blog is a shameless appeal to all those who can if not save my job, save my dignity:

Join the FS Magazine fan page!

Links

"The FS Magazine Fan page"
Bill's original cry for help
The Vanity Fair Fan Page